Tonight, on the eve of my book release, I have so many emotions that I didn’t anticipate. When I started writing my story over a decade ago, I was single, a student at UW-Madison, and trying to recover from the worst stages of PTSD I’ve endured. I never thought about how this might impact my own children. I never anticipated being a principal when this was released. I guess, in some deep, dark place in my brain, I never thought this day would come.
I wrote as therapy, I wrote because, for some unknown reason, I needed to keep those memories close and pen the very pain that I couldn’t articulate in person. It was a humbling, difficult, time-consuming, passion-releasing, tear-jerking, and healing.
Tonight, as I brace for an unknown journey, I feel like a balloon ready to burst confetti comprised of glee , worry, relief , anticipation, and gratitude.
I choked up as I held my book in my hand. How is the world going to take this story? Are they going to learn something from the historical perspective (I hope so), are they going to be bored when I explain the intricacies of working with Iraqis (I hope not!), are they going to judge my past discretions from years ago? Is this book going to be like a fizzling out sparkler? Is it going to go somewhere? Is it going to cause others pain or help others heal? Will Audible ever hire me to read my own story?
Huh? Will ya? Audible? Are you out there?
This weekend, my husband asked me what my goals are for the book. It caused me to pause and reflect on the next step of |my publishing journey, something that I hadn’t yet taken the time to do. What are my goals? I smiled at him and said, “Go big or go home. Just like everything else in my life.” And thus, I have over 100 books waiting for their new home.
I’m not looking to get rich monetarily. That’s not the point. The point is creating awareness around a relatively quiet war, to share the perspective of a female in combat, to discuss the tragedies of PTSD, and of course, to heal. I want to become rich with truth, empathy, integrity, selflessness, vulnerability, kindness, and gratitude. Those are the things that make me happy. But selling a book or two or one hundred or a thousand or a million… why not? (Amazon link)